By: Hannah Schultz

We as humans are flawed. Evolution has a way of torturing us, so we suffer more than we should, and consequently, invent stuff that costs money. More money than what we would spend if it weren’t for our evolutionary flaws. Sinus infections. Just the way our nasal cavities are built. It wouldn’t be a problem if we kept our muzzles from our ancestors, but no. Our faces are very flat. You know what we invented as a result? Tissues. TISSUES. Do other animals need tissues? No. Because they evolved in such a way that they don’t have as many problems with sinus infections.

Wisdom teeth. Let me tell you a story, about how long ago, people used to eat food raw. It was when we needed the extra teeth before we invented cooking. Since we invented cooking, our jaws shrunk, and our wisdom teeth are no longer needed. Trouble is, the genes that control the size of our jaws and the number of our teeth are independent, so while one changed, the other didn’t. Wisdom teeth still stay around and cause various problems like infections, gum diseases, etc. What do we do? Remove them. Costs some good money

The female reproductive system. Not an issue for other animals! For one thing, some can reabsorb babies if pregnancies cause trouble. We can’t. Others can reabsorb their menstrual lining. We can’t, and this is why we get periods. Periods by itself suck. They’re messy, they cause cramps, etc. and so we invented feminine hygiene products. Childbirth is also dangerous, we have evolved big heads for intelligence, but they can’t fit well through the birth canal. So sometimes, surgery is required to help the new mother.

In conclusion, being a human sucks. We have many problems to deal with, so we invented things to help out. Things that cost money. Money that we could otherwise save. Really sad, indeed that we evolved this way.

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